Does my featured photo piss you off? Well, it should!!
Please know that it’s not meant to insult you, rather it’s just meant to get your attention.
Hi everyone, I’m back! Sorry that I haven’t posted in awhile, life has been quite busy lately. What inspired me to do this post today, aside from my personal experiences with haters and people close to me discouraging me, was watching the movie, The Pursuit of Happiness, over the weekend where Will Smith plays Chris Gardner, a highly successful stockbroker, and businessman, who struggled with homelessness in the early 1980s while being a single father to his toddler son. What’s inspirational about it is that the movie is based on a true story. In fact, Chris Gardner, in real life, is now a very successful entrepreneur, author, motivational speaker, and philanthropist!
The movie itself was inspiring, but there was one particular scene in that movie that stuck with me. Chris (played by Will Smith) and his son, Chris Jr., were playing basketball together. Chris Jr. said he wanted to grow up to be a pro basketball player, and his father told him he would never be successful at that. Poor little Chris Jr. was pissed off (rightfully so), and he was very discouraged. However, Chris turned around and said to his son, “Don’t ever let somebody tell you that you can’t do something. Not even me.”
To me, hearing a parent humbly say that to their child is very inspiring because I didn’t have that growing up. Bypassing that kind of egocentric bias takes a lot of courage, and it’s sometimes very hard to do. Like I mentioned before about parents who discourage their children from thinking big; it’s not because they’re mean, it’s because they want what’s best for their kids. If they don’t know or truly understand what it takes to succeed at something bigger than what they can fathom, they’re afraid to have their kids take major risks that can make them or break them. They simply want to know that their kids will be financially stable and secure in the future, and they may not even realize that they are hurting them by feeding them with words of discouragement. Luckily, those kids have the choice to let what their parents tell them to make them or break them.
The way I see it, there are two main motivators in life; the good feelings we wish to have more of, and the bad feelings we wish to have less of. Good feelings are the feelings we get when we get a bonus paycheck, graduate high school, graduate college, get a promotion, have someone tell us we did a great job, accomplish any big goal we set for ourselves, or even a nice, relaxing vacation to Cancun where we enjoy the beach, the palm trees, and have a fun time! It’s those good feelings that derive from good experiences to tell us, “Damn, I’d love to have these experiences more often!” On the flip side, there are also the bad feelings such as haters telling us we suck, failing at things, being in debt, people who doubted us saying, “I told you so”, having a less than ideal living situation, having an asshole boss, a messy breakup, or just being discouraged by the people closest to us. Those are the feelings we want to have less of. We may say, “This sucks, I don’t ever want to go through this again.”
The way I see it, there are two main motivators in life; the good feelings we wish to have more of, and the bad feelings we wish to have less of.
The question is, “How do we have more good experiences and less bad ones?” Well, the key here is that we must learn to be grateful for what we have in life, and look at everything as if the glass is half full rather than half empty. Remember that every failure is simply just a learning opportunity and a new discovery of something that doesn’t work. Every bad experience we have in life adds new, interesting chapters to our success stories. What makes you cry today may make you laugh tomorrow. It comes to a point where we must refuse to be a victim anymore, and keep moving forward no matter what.
Every bad experience we have in life adds new, interesting chapters to our success stories.
Whether you wish to succeed at starting your own business, landing the job you want, becoming the best at your current job, or even achieving optimal health and happiness despite your past struggles, YOU CAN DO IT! It may be difficult, but difficult does not mean impossible. If other people have done it, that’s proof right there that it’s not impossible! If the people you surround yourself with discourage you, just take what they say with a grain of salt, and find clever ways to surround yourself with people who encourage you, support you, and even help you to achieve your goals.
Difficult does not mean impossible. If other people have done it, that’s proof right there that it’s not impossible!
I’m not gonna lie, I’ve had words of discouragement most of my life from family, friends, former employers, colleagues, haters, etc. I’ve had failures where those same people said, “I told you so.”, to me. That made me feel like shit!! Every time I got knocked down, even after being in and out of mental hospitals for multiple suicide attempts, I kept getting back up. My rock bottom moments made me discover how strong I truly am, and that I’m way tougher than any of the people that picked on me growing up.
I always had this feeling inside me that I’d be successful someday, and I would inspire others. When I was 17, I was working at a grocery store bagging groceries, collecting carts in the parking lot, and mopping floors when it needed to be done. That year, I had a manager tell me, “you’re a worthless piece of shit, Jack, and you’re going nowhere in life!” That really hurt me at the time. I was stuck at that job until I was 21, but by the time I was 18-19, I started taking it more seriously. Managers came and went, so I got fresh starts, and the newer managers liked me. I was a hard worker once I stopped fooling around, and one of the managers said to me, “If I had 6 more Jacks working here, I’d have fewer grey hairs on my head.” Therefore, it’s never too late to make changes. Sometimes, you just need to ask yourself, “Do I really want people who discourage me to say, ‘I told you so’, over and over again?” If not, you know what needs to be done. Keep moving forward, keep doing the next right thing, and listen to the credible opinions that will get you to where you need to be.
Sometimes, you just need to ask yourself, “Do I really want people who discourage me to say, ‘I told you so’, over and over again?”
Before I go, I just want to encourage you to always do what’s best for you and to remind you that no matter how bad your current reality is, it can always improve drastically if you work it. You are unlimited, and nothing will stop you if you go for what you want!
I will now leave you with an image I created and uploaded to Instagram to give you a motivational boost (and a laugh, lol). Feel free to follow me!