Today, we live in a world where we can have many things instantly. When we need a ride, we call an Uber. When we want food, we can pop something in the microwave or use GrubHub. When we want to go shopping, we just order from Amazon and pay for 2-day shipping. Then, when it’s time to settle down, relax, and be entertained, we turn on Netflix to binge watch a whole TV series. No more commercials or waiting a whole week! Sounds great, right? Unfortunately, it can shape our expectations around things in life that actually require us to wait.
Hey, everyone! I’m back again with another philosophical rant! Today, I will be covering a topic that may be hard for some to hear, but it’s necessary that it gets brought to light. As technology advances and makes everything less time consuming and more convenient, humanity is becoming less and less patient. I’ve been becoming more and more aware of this lately after spending time building my business, doing my martial arts training, working the 12-step program, etc.
We need to understand the value of delayed gratification. It’s crucial that we remind ourselves that no matter how advanced technology gets, and no matter how fast the world moves, there are certain things that just need time to come to fruition. Here are a few of the important things in life that cannot be rushed, even with 21st-century innovations.
Whether we are recovering from injuries that are physical or mental, there’s a healing process that must take place until we can function normally again. There’s a reason why doctors tell people things like “no heavy lifting for 6 weeks” or “minimize physical activity for a while.” The same thing goes with recovering from mental illnesses; there’s a period of time that we need to go through a process of healing. When I was 20 years old, I was diagnosed with C-PTSD, and I recall the many times where people would tell me to “just let it go” if it were that easy. It may be easy for most people, but when someone suffers from a serious mental illness, not so much. It’d be like telling someone with a sprained ankle to “just walk it off.” Before they could effectively walk on that ankle again, it must go through a healing process which will take time, and the same goes for recovery from any mental illness or substance abuse disorder. Luckily, going through the healing process allowed me to finally let things go.
When it comes to time, throwing effort into the mix can ultimately shorten the time it takes, however, time is still something that is required. Nothing happens overnight. To put things in perspective from my experiences, I started seeing a therapist when I was 20 years old back in January of 2015, a year later, I was in and out of psychiatric hospitals for suicide attempts and got put on medication, a year after that, I quit drinking and joined alcoholics anonymous. Last year, I got off all medication, I began working the 12-step program, and got involved in martial arts. Now, I’m on Step 4 after a year of doing step work, and I’m moving up slowly in my martial arts training. When asked how long it takes to heal, I learned that it varies from person to person. To put it simply, it cannot be rushed, and it takes as long as it takes.
We live in a world today where psychiatrists push more pills on people who struggle with their issues. Not that medication is bad, in fact, it helps a lot of people, and it once helped me. However, there’s no denying that it becomes a quick solution, creates unhealthy dependency, and can have some health consequences in the long-term. My view on psychiatric medication, depending on the severity of the patient’s condition, is that it should be a last resort and a short-term solution. Think of it like when you get an infection, and you take an antibiotic for a period of time until the infection is cleared up. If you need it, definitely talk to your doctor about finding what’s right for you for a time to stabilize you as you work on yourself and getting your life back together. I was medicated for 2 years, but during those 2 years, I made major (but necessary) lifestyle changes and worked through the psychological issues I had. As I improved, I worked with my psychiatrist to come off the medication the proper way, which is another process that cannot be rushed! If you feel like you need to see a professional to work through your mental health issues, please refer to Psychology Today.
At almost 25 years old, I can honestly say that I’m in the best shape of my life! However, this wasn’t always the case. Growing up, I was always a scrawny kid, and I was very insecure about my body. Between the ages of 18 and 21, I spent a lot of time at the gym desperately trying to bulk up as fast as I possibly could. I would stay at the gym too long, exercise improperly, and even abused all kinds of GNC supplements that did nothing but make my urine the color of Mountain Dew and make me throw up a lot. I finally gained weight when I was on psychiatric medication, but it was not healthy weight. I was chubby for a while until I came off the medication. Now, I just stick to a healthy diet of mainly whole foods, and exercise through martial arts training 3 nights a week!
You’re probably wondering what this has to do with anything. Well, getting in good shape is another thing that cannot happen overnight. It takes time, and the time it takes depends on your condition starting out. I bring it up to help you avoid the mistakes I made in the past. We all get bombarded with marketing campaigns about fad diets, weight loss products, cosmetic surgeries, exercise programs, etc. However, the real truth is that they capitalize on our insecurities, they grab the attention of those looking for quick results, and the results people get rarely sustain in the long-term. Plus, results achieved are usually obtained in rather unhealthy ways. To better understand this phenomenon, I invite you to read this article from LiveStrong.com. To get healthy, long-lasting results, just be patient, be persistent, and accept that it may take a couple of months or even a couple of years.
Have you ever fallen for any of those “get rich quick” schemes out there? The kinds that promise you $10,000 in residual income after 3 months with little to no effort? I certainly have! Luckily, I didn’t lose much, but I was still pretty bummed out that I got scammed. That was about 2 years ago now. However, after watching a video of GaryVee talking about a young kid he met who told him he was scammed and lost $60,000, Gary said to him, “that’s what happens when you try to make a quick dollar!” He is so right about that because I remember when I got scammed, I was trying to make a quick dollar as well! I invite you to check out his video.
I share this with you to warn you and protect you from losing your money as well as your hopes. Nowadays, the internet is flooded with entrepreneurs flaunting their luxuries, telling you their success stories, and trying to get you to buy into their programs. I’m not saying they don’t work, I’m sure some really do, but many go into those with false expectations and end up disappointed when they don’t get results in a decent amount of time. The funny thing is that it was actually what inspired me to start my YouTube vlog!
After spending the last 14 months building my financial services business, in which the first 6-9 months I dedicated to learning the business and understanding how money works, I am absolutely positive that there is no way to get rich quick. Building wealth, whether you become an entrepreneur or an employee, takes time, discipline, hard work, consistency, and having a solid understanding of how money works. The more you understand and accept that, the less likely you will ever be scammed (again). I got into financial services shortly after I had the realization that financial issues can hold people back from healthy recovery from mental illness in both direct and indirect ways. If you live in North America, especially the Greater Boston Area where I live, and you’d like to learn the real way to build wealth, I’d be more than happy to help! You can connect with me personally through my webpage.
It may sound nice to remove the effort of going out to meet new people by just swiping left and right on Tinder or connecting with others on Facebook. Right? Unfortunately, the problem with social media is that it connects us online while isolating us offline. I like to say that no matter how advanced communication technology gets, nothing will ever fully replace genuine, face-to-face communication with another human being. We are social creatures, but we need to be careful not to let anything superficial pressure us to maintain relationships that look good on the outside but are unhealthy in reality.
Technology will never be able to change the fact that genuine, meaningful relationships, whether with romantic partners, friends, family, colleagues, clients, etc. cannot be rushed. In fact, trying to rush things will cause you to repel better quality people and attract lower quality people; another lesson I learned the hard way early in life. Think about it, when you meet someone new, do you completely trust them right away? I would hope not! Jay Shetty once said in a video on relationships that a tree doesn’t bear fruits and flowers overnight, and that no matter how much you water it or how much sunlight you give it, it still takes time to grow and develop. I highly encourage you to follow his content!
When it comes to relationships, I recommend starting off by getting to know yourself, engage in some social detoxing if needed, and try to seek out healthy individuals to be around who resonate with you. Take time to get to know these people and build some genuine friendships. You know, the kind where you can unplug and get together to do fun things instead of just texting each other from across the room. In addition, when it comes to romantic relationships, take time to get to know someone before sleeping with them and planning a life together. Otherwise, it will lead to a lot of heartaches, meaningless sex, resentments, confusion, and the risk of spending your life with the wrong person.
There are many more examples out there, but I just wanted to share some basic ones that resonate with me the most. It’s convenient in today’s world to be able to have certain things right away, and technology will definitely change and evolve over time. New products and marketing campaigns will come out to try and sell us something that will get us quick results in certain categories stated above, but let’s make sure we keep things in perspective and never lose sight of the fact that those things take time, effort, consistency, persistence, etc. The time will pass, either way, so we might as well put it to good use. After all, those are the things in life that are worth the wait.