Hey everyone! I’m sorry I haven’t made a blog post in awhile, life got a little crazy for awhile. However, what I dealt with in the last month and a half inspired me to write this post.
What Have I Been Up To?
For those of you who’ve been following my content, you know that aside from being a mental health advocate/social media influencer, I am also a full-time college student and an Uber driver. School work and driving have taken up a lot of time, which also included an entrepreneurship competition I participated in through school. I began to feel a little overwhelmed because I lost a lot in the last 2 years; I had the majority of my friends and family turn their backs on me along my journey through recovery and success. I also had a failed engagement earlier this year, but I choose to move forward and wish those who come and go in my life nothing but the best. In addition, I did not make it to the final round in that entrepreneurship competition.
I was not taking good enough care of myself. Although I continually put in the work with my entrepreneurial venture along with school and making money driving and doing other things, I wasn’t giving myself the chance to really feel the feelings of grief after my failed relationship, losing a lot of friends and family members, coming off of all medication, etc. In other words, I was being a workaholic by overworking myself, isolating from others, and focusing on everyone else’s needs and not my own. I was afraid to express my own vulnerabilities because I was always forced to be the strong one. One valuable life lesson I’ve had to learn many times is that helping others when you’re not in a good position to help yourself is like plugging up holes in your raft while others continue to create new ones.
“Helping others when you’re not in a good position to help yourself is like plugging up holes in your raft while others continue to create new ones.”
How I Solved The Issues.
I did what I had to do to take care of myself. Just to clarify, I don’t mean that people should be selfish and deceitful, I mean that we need to have healthy levels of respect for ourselves, give to ourselves when necessary, fill ourselves up before we overflow to give to others, and accept what we can’t control along with not being taken advantage of. You may check out one of my previous blog posts titled “The Downfall Of The Empath” to learn more about the imbalance between caring too much about others and not enough about yourself. As much as I love helping people, I’m only one person. Luckily, I’ve started coming up with new ways to help more people indirectly. Tony Robbins once said that he doesn’t look to create dependency, but rather to work with people and teach them strategies to get themselves in a better place. Just like the old saying, “give a man a fish, and feed him for a day, but teach a man to fish, and you feed him for life.”
Aside from taking on more than I could handle, my vision for the future was too broad and lacked clarity. One thing that helped me feel better and reassess was the mindfulness group I joined. I began practicing mindfulness on and off about two years ago but joining a group really taught me better skills along with the power of a group. I love having opportunities to do group work because of the energy in the room we can share and exchange with one another.
Aside from my personal life, my business venture is undergoing improvements. I learned from mentors to be coachable and learn to accept criticism (whether or not it’s constructive). Although I lost the competition at school, I had the privilege of obtaining the judges’ comments to see what areas I need to improve on. This, along with working with my personal business counselors and mentors, helped me clarify my vision and make a concrete (but dynamic) plan to get to where I want to be. Having struggled with mental health issues and low self-esteem early in life, I used to be sensitive to criticism. In fact, it hurt my feelings. However, once I decided what I truly wanted in life, I wasn’t going to let anything stop me. Once I learned how to handle constructive criticism, I saw how it benefited me and improved my skills. My experiences helped build me into the man I am today, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
My Advice To You & What I Will Do Going Forward.
Most importantly, never neglect your own needs whether they’re physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, financial, etc. It’s okay to take a break, or to cry, or to be angry at times. The key is to not be DE-structive but rather be CON-structive. Allow yourself to feel and express emotions in a healthy way that won’t harm yourself or others. The key is to have the right support network and not have people who will make you feel worse or cause you harm. To learn more about what I call “social detoxing”, feel free to check out this article I published on wellness.com here.
In addition, with anything you do, whether it’s recovery, entrepreneurship, or any form of achievement in life, always be willing to reach out for help and accept that you don’t know everything. In other words, always be willing to learn and grow. I used to fall victim to my ego, and I do still slip up once in awhile to be honest, but I learned that egocentric bias can stunt one’s personal, intellectual, and spiritual growth.
“Egocentric bias can stunt one’s personal, intellectual, and spiritual growth.”
I will continue to learn and grow. I will help myself when necessary to stay in a position where I can overflow and help others. Helping others is what I love to do and that’s how it’s always been. My weakness was always failing to take care of myself, so I will continue to achieve and maintain a healthy balance. I will also continue to provide you valuable content!
Before I go, I wanted to let you guys know that I started doing vlogs on YouTube! I decided to document my overall journey to happiness and success to show people what the entrepreneur’s journey to success before it happens is really like. I figured that the internet is flooded with entrepreneurs who tell their before stories and then show off their mansions and 7 Lamborghinis. Not that I want all those material items, but I wish to show rather than just tell my before story.
I don’t get to post vlogs on YouTube as often as I’d like. However, I do post on this new app called Huddle every day! If you wish to see more of me and my journey on a regular basis, please check out Huddle!
You may follow the link to see my first vlog post!
Thank you for being a part of my journey, it truly means the world to me. I hope I can help you achieve optimal happiness in life. 🙂